Herbert watched a little too much Breaking Bad and tried his own recipe. Things started off fine but progressed rapidly when….
Herbert had just celebrated another birthday, alone, at a bar. He freely dispensed shouted wisdom to all within ear-shot. “Let us have a moment of science!” he declared. “It is a scientific fact,” he slurred, “that scientists that have more birthdays live longer!” He slammed the shot glass down loudly. This was his eleventh shot.Continue reading “Birthday At The Bar”
Herbert planned his siege as he pedaled the stolen bicycle to the dinosaur museum. The world depended upon scientists to enforce facts. Everything was upside down. “People no longer respect credentials; they respect memes. Everyone is their own authority today and now the world is falling apart,” Herbert said, hair blowing in the wind. ItContinue reading “Mad Scientist Hit By Truck”
Herbert was hungry again. He was feeling cornered. Reaching into his wallet produceda crumbed and ripped five-dollar bill.A dog was walking by. He recognized it. He whistled to get its attention. It was a scrawny dingo with a leather collar.He looked up and down the street. He was heading for a small square-shaped building onContinue reading “Dingo Dogs and Settled Scores”
Not even a glass of brandy would calm Herbert’s nerves tonight. He walked over to the window and reflected on his surroundings. He gulped and glanced at his reflection. He was a brandy drinker with brown fingers and spiky elbows. His nose glowed red above his thick greasy mustache. He looked at the computer screen.Continue reading “War on Stupid”
Surely Herbert wasn’t always this crazy. What drove him to these extremes? We’ll start back in 1975, when he was in his twenties. Herbert had always loved pretty Pondscumville, with its shallow gene pool. It was a place where he felt at ease. He was so at east he found himself drinking again, which wasContinue reading “Herbert’s Dark Past”
“Science is how we purify nature,” he said to the students, teachers, and parents at the dinosaur museum. Herbert had always hated the uneducated. They displayed their ignorance at the museum with their asinine questions indicating they paid scant attention in class. It was a place where he felt psychotic. He was an angry, cantankerousContinue reading “In The Name Of Science”
Herbert went to the beach to watch boats go over the Earth’s curvature. He brought a telescope and his lunchbox. In his backpack, he had his new super-hero scientist disguise he had bene working on. Should he see any anti-science Flat Earthers there, he’d be ready. Herbert went to the beach to watch boats goContinue reading “Science-Man”
Is flat earth merely lunacy? Or is there more to it?
It was nearing midday when our hero Herbert set off to disprove the Flat Earthers once and for all. Their ridonkulous theory was gaining traction among the youth in the absence of rigorous scientific training in the classrooms. He spotted a mask on the ground and angrily swiped it up, putting it in his backContinue reading “Chapter 2) Herbert Climbs A Tree To Detect Earth’s Curvature”