Herbert went to the beach to watch boats go over the Earth’s curvature. He brought a telescope and his lunchbox. In his backpack, he had his new super-hero scientist disguise he had bene working on. Should he see any anti-science Flat Earthers there, he’d be ready.
Herbert went to the beach to watch boats go over the Earth’s curvature. He brought a telescope and his lunchbox. In his backpack, he had the new super-hero scientist disguise he had been working on. Should he see any anti-science Flat Earthers there, he’d be ready.
Hours went by and he watched the boats disappear from view. “Yes, that proves it! It’s all the proof I need!” he exclaimed. He gestured to the onlookers, “The boats are going over the curve. The flat earth has been debunked.”
Nobody seemed to care.
One individual said, “Please, Sir. Put on your mask. You’re endangering us all with your anti-science nonsense.” The individual, a short nerd with a ponytail and weak excuse for a goatee poking from beneath his mask, wagged a finger at the scientist.
“Anti-science? I’m the only one debunking flat earth every day, son.” Herbert stood up, his yellowish-white boxers partially covered by his drooping underbelly.
“I’m talking about your face, Sir. Your uncovered face is endangering us all. Haven’t you heard about Covid-X? The deadly new strain?” The finger-wagging continued.
“Listen here!” Herbert grabbed the younger man’s fingers, squeezed, and popped them at a right angle, snapping them like celery. He cried out in pain. “When you fuck with me, you fuck with science. You hear me?”
Others were watching. He picked up his telescope and reached into his back. Inside, was a mask, much like Batman’s mask, but this one was white, made from a lab coat. He instantly covered his face so that nobody would put him on Tik-Tok. He was unconcerned about any possibility of them calling the police.
Once he had his mask in place, he took the telescope in both hands, and hooked it over the young man’s head, choking him. “Listen up!” he growl-yelled, imitating Christian Bale’s Batman as best he could. “There’s a new hero on planet earth. It’s not the one the globe wants, but it’s the one the globe needs.” Satisfied his message was sent, he let his victim fall facedown into the sand. He put his cape on, made from white lab coat, but embroidered on the back was SM, and below that in smaller lettering: